Monday, 6 June 2011

The 100 Greatest X-Men, #60 - #56

60: Callisto

So you only have one eye, your home is a sewer and you don't know what a haircut is. At least you still have your tentacles. And you've managed to land a girlfriend. Callisto has only recently joined the X-Men, but has made several worthwhile contributions to the X-Men. For one thing, she has worked with both Magneto and Xavier in the pursuit of restoring the decimated mutant community of Genosha, and is presumably still doing that even as we speak. While everyone else has abandoned the place and decided to move to the cooler, more mainstream Utopia locale, she is still there doing her thing. A far way to come for a woman whose first few appearances had her kidnap Angel because she wanted a boyfriend; and get stabbed by Storm as retaliation. Storm is known to overreact in that way. However, after years of being enemies the two women have recently become friends - spurred on by Callisto growing tentacles, Storm has recently realised that she is in love with the woman and wants her forever. Sure, Storm married someone else. But her heart belongs to Callisto. It must be hard for any man to compare to a woman who has tentacles.


59: Colossus

Part of the All-New, All Different X-Men; Colossus quickly proved himself to have a lot in common with the boring cast of the original X-Factor. A Russian with the ability to turn his skin into metal, Colossus exists for two reasons. The first is so the X-Men can throw a contender into the "who is the most powerful character?" battles that the internet thrills to. The second is so that his metal skin give colourists something fun to do during splash pages. He's literally appeared in no good stories - or at least, none of the good stories he's appeared in have been because of him. And yet these presumably amazing writers like Joss Whedon and Kieron Gillen seem to see something in the character which nobody else thinks is there. He's appeared in all the main X-Men runs apart from New X-Men - and Grant Morrison wanted him! He was dead at the time, so Morrison had to use Emma Frost instead. What do all these people see in Piotr Rasputin?


58: Penance

A perennially popular character, Penance is irrevocably convoluted after her storyline was taken up by two different writers who didn't have the same idea of who she is. She first appeared during Generation X, and then she appeared in Generation X. One writer created her while the second did her origin. And neither stories seem to have anything in common with each other. All they agree on is that she has hard skin and sharp fingernails. She is either a person wrapped in a cocoon or two twins merged into a single being OR she could be something else entirely. Nobody is really quite sure what's going on here. But she's popular! Boy howdy.


57: Rusty/Skids

Two characters in one placing? What's going on here. Well, Rusty and Skids are the most overwhelming romance story in the history of fiction. Nothing comes close to these two, who first met during the original X-Factor series. Skids is a girl who wears a beret, and Rusty is a boy who can set parts of his body on fire. You'll never separate these two characters, apart from when they've countlessly been brainwashed into fighting each other. And apart from the fact that Rusty has been dead for years now, killed in some bizarre way. Skids has fought with the grief in her own special way, first losing her beret (booooo) and then joining SHIELD. She's still helping the X-Men effort, but at the moment she's busy with a desk job in the most boring environment you could possibly manage. But hey, at least she isn't a member of X-Factor.


56: Layla Miller

Unlike Layla Miller, a character who first appeared in House of M but subsequently came to represent the new face of the X-Factor team. Recreated by Peter David as a smart-alec teenager who apparently knew the future, Layla mixed helping mutantkind with indescriminately killing people and aiding in the destruction of several mutant cities. Codenamed Butterfly, she spent most of her time being shady and untrustworthy - fitting given that she was apparently in a 'noir' series. She was amazing in several ways, most notably being in her ability to dominate absolutely anyone who spoke to her. She humiliated Quicksilver and the Astonishing X-Men, turned down Nick Fury and once threw a robot into a train. She may have terrible taste in novels, but her character came to dominate the early stages of X-Factor, and when she left the series it never recovered from the loss. Now that's the sign of a good character.

Her story ended when she was sent into the future during the Messiah Complex event, AND THAT IS THE LAST WE WILL HEAR OF IT.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Her story ended when she was sent into the future during the Messiah Complex event, AND THAT IS THE LAST WE WILL HEAR OF IT."

QFTMFT!