Here at Comics Vanguard, we don't review computer games. And even if we did, we never progressed beyond our beloved and battered N64, which can still play host to a thrilling lunchtime Mario Kart if you hit it before you turn it on. So Arkham City, the critically-acclaimed sequel to Arkham Asylum, the critically acclaimed prequel to Arkham City, has yet to hit our radar. Nevertheless, we've compiled a list of ten things we imagine probably happen in it at some point:
1. Harley Quinn arrives to a fight scene in a tiny car. Batman makes fun of her, until twenty burly clown henchmen also step out the vehicle.
2. A scene where Batman hits somebody over the head with a giant penny.
3. A Jim Gordon minigame in which you get to choose the member of the Gotham PD he has an affair with.
4. The Joker sits in his apartment and watches Brokeback Mountain.
5. After being exposed to nerve toxins, Batman experiences MORRISON-O-VISION
6. Oracle appears as a fully-playable side-character
7. Superman swoops down right at the end, heat lasers everybody, and leaves Batman feeling impotent.
8. Unlockable 'Batman & Robin: The Movie' costumes.
9. After being exposed to nerve toxins, Batman experiences TONY DANIEL-O-VISION
10. Poison Ivy forms a gang and calls them The Ivy League.